Powers and Stats
Tier: 7-C | 6-A | 4-C | Low 2-C | High 2-A | High 1-B | 0+ to Memetic (x10)+ | ∞+x... would be an insult to "power" (if it can logically still be called such) of this unthinkable magnitude
Name: Zacri, The Monad, The First, That Guy Who Does Stuff, The Broken Thing That's Already Fixed, "That One Sexy Mo*%&$f*$@er I Saw In The Cafe At the Edge of the Omniverse"
Origin: Imagination Land... 's origin is "him" (again, in quotations), as he is everything and at once nothing
Gender: Male (physically), though in reality is beyond the concept of such things as gender
Age: 20 (physically)
Classification: Human, Nephilim, Stupidly OP version of Z, Godmode Incarnate, Metaphysical Abstract Beyond Abstracts, Part-Time Watcher of DeviantArt, What ThePerpetual Does When He Has Too Much Time On His Hands
Powers and Abilities: Superhuman strength, speed, reflexes, durability, endurance, intellect, thought processing, game playing, fighting skill, looks, sex life, badassery, 4th wall awareness, sense of humor, and basically everything else to be honest, Shapeshifting, Telekinesis, Telepathy, Teleportation, Omnitangibility, Summoning, Reality Warping, Omnicognition, Fire, Water, Earth, Air, Lightning, Ice, Light, Darkness, Space, Time, Void, Gravity, Nature, Plant, Good, Evil, Order, Chaos, God, Mankind, Matter, Soul, Energy, Magic, Ki, Psionic, Luck, Concept, Abstract, Paradox, Casuality, Quantum, Dimension, Toonforce, Fate, Higher-Planar, Atomic, Sub-Atomic, Past, Present, Future, State-of-Being, Joke, No-Limits Fallacy, Gameplay Mechanics, Meme, Potence, Plot, PIS, Parody, Hax, Wumbo, You, Me, Life-The-Universe-And-Everything, and Bacon generation, manipulation, destruction, projection, and lulzification, is immune to memes, hax, and anything else I happen to dislike enough at any given point and time, Expert at Everything, meta-destruction, Unquestionable Absolute Omnipotence, Omnipresence, and Omniscience, has great taste in music, did I mention Badassery Embodiment yet?, can write stuff, has the ability to b^*chslap creepypastas at will (thank you, aforementioned omnipresence), l337 noskope skills, great quality and you can't argue otherwise, determination, overrides other trollish abilities because screw that nonsense, unbannable, one immunity, two immunity, red immunity, blue immunity, I snuck in a Dr. Seuss reference immunity, plot immunity, wall immunity, logic immunity, diplomatic immunity, immunity to diplomatic immunity, immunity to your immunity, immunity to his powers being copied or understood by others unless he so wishes, can't be ignored, can't be sealed, can't be turned into a seal (or anything, for that matter, unless he wants to), knows how to believe in the heart of the cards, never loses his abilities, never loses his way, does the impossible, has the ability to casually wave off complaints about being a Gary Stu as if they did not exist (And they don't anymore, 'cuz I said so)
Attack Potency: Casually Large Town level+ (Couldn't lose to Nuclear Man if he tried, casually imagines up stuff of this caliber while playing tabletop RPGs with friends) | Continent level (Accidentally cracked Asia apart by stepping on the wrong spot of a DDR mat on the opposite side of the planet when he was younger) | Star level+ (Casually wiped the floor with Soren and Captain Square in Smash Bros. simultaneously once he applied anything even resembling effort) | Universe level+ (Defeated many foes of this magnitude) | High Multiverse level+ (After getting irritated with Chara and Asriel screwing with his Undertale save through breaking the 4th wall, adventured through the whole game, beat them up himself, and created his own happy ending) | High Hyperverse level (Transcended the concept of infinity through sheer willpower and determination) | True Infinity+ (When a true omnipotent threatened everything he cared about, summoned forth the whole of his power to enforce the ideas of "life" and "mortality" onto it in defiance of anything resembling logic, then proceeded to beat it within an inch of its life) to Memetic level++++++++++ (Defeated Check Norris, John Cena, and Bruce Lee all at once when they severely pissed him off) | Beyond All Things And All Parodies Of All The Things+x to the Kek Why Are You Still Reading This?th+ power+ level+ (Sees the invisible, does the impossible, rows to fight the power, deletes memes all teh times, was Saitamnipotence's blacksmith, and other such silly and fun stuff)
Speed: Relativistic (Ran circles around Senator Memestrong, who was one hundred times as fast and strong as the real thing) | FTL (Outran the light to get more sleep in a Paul Bunyan parody) | FTL with MFTL reactions and combat speed (Can react to Ocarina of Time Link's arrows, which like, totally fly to the sun and back in 5 seconds, legit ;) ) | MFTL+ (Several quintillions of times lightspeed, runs circles around Disgaea god tiers for funsies) | Immeasurable | Irrelevant | Omnipresent+ to Transcendently Uberpresent+++ | I laugh at your pathetic speed entry. Mwahahaha. ;)
Lifting Strength: Class T (Put Senator Memestrong to shame in an arm-wrestling contest) | Class T | Class Z+ (Played volleyball with the Moon, on the moon... don't ask how) | Galactic (I was too lazy to bother explaining when this happened, it did happen tho) | Immeasurable (Determination>all burdens) | Immeasurable | True Infinity+ | "∞+"+ (Why does this category matter again?+++) +
Striking Strength: Class TJ | Class YJ | Class XGJ+ | Universal | Multiversal+ | Hyperversal | True Infinity+ | Giga-Joke-Character-Breaaakaahhr!!
Durability: Large Town level+ | Continent level | Star level+ | Universe level+ | High Multiverse level+ | High Hyperverse level | True Infinity+ | Jeesh, spamming "High" and "+" a lot sure does get tiring :/ (Yes, in all instances durability and AP scale)
Stamina: Superhuman+ | Superhuman+ | Nigh-Infinite | Infinite...ly Perpetual (see, it's a joke bc that's mah name) | Beyond Immeasurably Infinitely Perpetual+ | Tryhard Level X | Higher Than That | Look, stop. Just... stop trying to tire me out, it's embarrasing. 'kay? 'Kay.
Range: Varies from Melee range to great distances away (just ask me, fam, I'll tell you if this is ever really that important)
Literally everything is his property, even Gilgameme the Owner of Everything, but he favors a few select pieces of equipment in combat. They are as follows:
- Sir Sword: Called the Sir Sword not because it's a Sir itself, but because it is the sword of respectable gentlemen.
- Remy: Remy, however, is intelligent. Likes cutting things, doesn't much care for being tickled.
- Ddraig Gwaeg: The Blood Dragon Sword, can control all blood of everything ever.
- Rosebloom: A blade with a rose blossom at its hilt, Rosebloom can control an infinite number of flowers and rose petals and can dissolve into a similarly infinite number of glowing razor-sharp energy petals.
- Gunsword: A sword that's also a gun. Because that's cool.
- Core of the Mountain: Channels lava. Causes things it hits to melt apart.
- Daybreak: Supah shiny light, just like the sun.
- Crimson Moon: A high-frequency red ninja sword that can cut through literally anything.
- Scarlet Tears: Twin matching high-frequency kunai, useful for epic knife fights, throwing at dartboards, throwing at annoying waiters, or for picking one's teeth. Can also cut through literally anything.
- Key to Divinity: Holds the power to be a god, power over light, darkness, shadows, and all of that sort of thing.
- Scholar's Edge: For looking super sharp.
- Drillblade: Pierces the heavens, all defenses ever, and troll shields.
- Motorcycle Blade: Not only does it have a motorcycle engine in it, this two-handed blade can transform into a motorcycle itself. Nifty, huh?
- Leviathan: A gigantic sword made of semisolid hybridized elemental water energy and phlebotanium.
- Laser Katana: A katana that's also a lightsaber. Useful for slaying irritatingly persistent assassins, as well as for showing off to otakus.
- Guiding Light: A shining holy katana forged long ago, in a distant land. It's mere presence kills evil.
- Darksaber: A blade made of radiant darkness. So strong, it breaks oxymorons apart.
- Okean Eirinis: Part of a set of three, this sword has c00l ice powerz.
- Patoún Flóga: Part of a set of three, this sword has supah hot fiyah powerz.
- Thanátou Angeli: Part of a set of three, this sword has 1337 dancing powerz and instant-killz.
- Cleddyf Wall'gf: Randomized effects. Basically, someone done turned the Wabbajack into a sword and gave it a generous dose of steroids. Granted, this entire profile's already on steroids most likely, but oh well.
- Heliwir: A celtic spear from times long past. Doesn't miss.
- Heatwave: A naginata with BOOM BOOM FIRE POWER.
- Noble Defender: Nothing gets past it. It's the ultimate defender!!
- Virtue: A green guan dao, for uniting kingdoms through sheer virtue.
- Frozen Rain: Not to be confused with chocolate rain, under which some stay dry, and others feel pain. Here, everyone (at least, every enemy) feels pain.
- Truth: Shows the way to the meaning of truth.
- Pheonix: Wields the Pheonixpotence.
- Raven: Dark spears for dark times. Damn, am I already running out of jokes? Should probably point out that it can ignore literally anything ever, even things that can't can't be ignored by things that can't be ignored.
- Bloodshed: It's causing of enemies to explode into bloody chunks and dealing of 5% more damage is not the only thing I know for real. Ha! I love dual references.
- Anghen Tân: Dual-wielded with Anghen Iâ. Keeps things blazin' stylish.
- Anghen Iâ: Dual-wielded with Anghen Tân. Keeps things super chill.
- Action Star: Has eight different forms it can shift between. Alternatively, can split apart into eight different handguns, so that everyone can join in on the fun. Warning: Will regularly cause random explosions.
- Angel's Caress: In the aarrrrms of an aannnngellll
- Nasty Demon: SSSennnnnnsational!!
- Feather Duster: While it is a rifle, it is also a literal feather duster.
- MegaBlaster Assault Rifle of Uber Shootouts: Wins every match with 0 deaths and as the MVP.
- Dead Shooter 360 Noskope: For l337-beat sniping.
- Coward Killing Time: A bullet-breathing monster. Causes enemies to build diaper-changing stations.
- Dispater Pneumatic Wave Cannon: Named after Dispater, the lord of the second layer of the Nine Hells of Baator. Can either blow s*$t up, act as a Wave Motion Cannon, or just be a general BFG. Always held with one hand for extra badass points (not that I need them.)
- Eclipse: Can eclipse anything. It's right there in the name.
- Fortuna: Provides one with the power to manipulate luck as they see fit. I don't need luck tho ;)
- Dryadsbreath: Can call forth things from nature.
- Merciless: For butchering ill-behaved monstrous pets, or for cutting down trees.
- Vigilance: A fancy greataxe for fancy devils.
- Solemnity: For going all Norse berserker and wrecking faces.
- Verdict: This one-handed warhammer delivers final verdicts to disputes. Doubles as a Banhammer+.
- Tyrant: A two-handed mace of destroying everything ever. Also great for fooling people, whether it's to pick up cursed rings or bite onto bait.
- Extraordinarily Ordinary Flail: An ordinary flail. It itself is beyond Memetic+ in the hands of a Zacri who is actually giving a flying fuck, just goes to show how powerful he really is.
- Gentleman's Cane: A mark of true gentlemen. Note that sheathed inside the cane is not a sword, but is instead another cane, because that's just how dapper the guy is. Prepare your ass for a dapper spanking.
- Nightshade: Shoots arrows tipped with omnipowerful poisons. Never misses a shot.
- Roaring Chimera: Literally shoots chimeras and other monsters as ammunition.
- Platinum Inferno: A blazing platinum scythe topped with a spear point on it's back end. It's blade constantly flickers just like an actual fire. Has a giant gun in it because lol logicz.
- Lament: Named after how hard people cry when they watch the guy they're rooting for get rekt by this lightsaber reaper blade of badassery and doom.
- Yesteria: An angel shield. Wards away annoying habits and stray spite-flingers.
- Gaia: A human shield. Blocks bait and trolling.
- Malsheem: A demonic shield. Deflects guilt-tripping and overly persistent "good Samaritans."
- Black Zipper Gloves: Donned as a formality before I beat you to a pulp with nothin' but mah fists. Not like I need any of the above to make a skrub out of even the strongest things around. And yes, the sudden 1st-person perspective is intentional.
- Gauntlets of Beating The Sh%& Outta Fools: If he happens to prefer metal at that point in time.
- All-Grimoire: Has everything in it. Can pull people, places, things, and et cetera out of its pages by their names.
Also wears his glorious blue headband and sash, and carries around sunglasses/Lennon shades in case such are needed.
Intelligence: Lazy Genius | Lazy Genius+ | Lazy Genius++ | Lazy Genius+++ | You can tell that "Lazy" is true bc I just kept adding +s like the lazy bum I am and that "Genius" is true because you're laughing at it | Omniscence+ | Beyond Perpetually Omnisciently Perpetual+ to the googleplexplexplexplex (pretend I copypasted a lot)th power...
| As the one, true owner and creator of the Zacriscience, knows everything ever, even the things he didn't before and things I don't know he knows
I laugh at you silly weaknesses section.
(Real talk, if I did have any? [I seriously don't btw.] They'd be A: Usually can't be bothered to put too much effort into things, and B: Edit conflicts.
...edit conflicts make me want to murder something with a rusty spork IRL. D:< )
- Literally all of them
- Ki Techniques: Zacri can replicate the ki techniques used by any other character in any series. This extends to other namings of life force or similarly analogous forces, such as chakra, aura, haki, nen, spiritual pressure, etc.
- Magic: Zacri can channel and control raw magic, and knows every spell in existence, not in existence, or anywhere in between.
- All-Power: Can utilize any and all of the unique abilities known by any other character. Period. If I tried listing them all, this page wouldn't be loadable anymore, so how about we don't do that?
- End-Bringer: You thought you could negate my stuff, but it was I, cheapness!!
- Copy Generation: Can generate a copy of any item from any existing series, just because.
- Absorption: Can absorb all incoming attacks, including opposing wank, Potences, memes, soloing powers, etc. into his semblance.
- Detection: Can sense everything's vibrations, even if they are not touching the ground, can see the invisible, shuts down stealth characters hardcore.
- Invincible: Anything the enemy does is rendered null and void. Possesses omni-layered defenses that he doesn't need simply because he gets mad when people try to rewrite how his s&$t works, even though that's not something that can happen.
- D E T E R M I N A T I O N: The ability to simply refuse. No matter what. Hopes and dreams are what make a new future, and it seems they're also great at warding off even things that are supposedly end-all, be-all bypassers of everything. A multi-layered absolute defense.
- Some of his favored techniques include:
- Punishment Divine: Zacri's stand. Taking the form of a titanic, cosmic bird composed of the cosmos around Zacri, it is immune to all forms of energy, and wields all forms of energy as well. It can also project infinite humanoid figures made of the same cosmos-stuff, usually to deliver ORAORAORAORAORAORAORAS to opponents.
- Zadkiel: Zacri's persona. Any damage it or Zacri allows himself to pretend to suffer, the enemy also suffers. It's blades causes whatever they are swung at to be deleted from existence, non-existence, and everything in between simultaneously.
- Iaijutsu Legend: Quickdraws a weapon at an enemy and resheathes it in a single planck second, striking an opponent quadrillions of times at once.
- ULLLLLLTTRRRAAAAAA COOOOMMMMBBOOOOOO!!: Combos an enemy so perfectly that an enemy's physical form ceases to be... or to want to be, in the face of such awe.
- Stylish Pose: Poses stylishly. Increases swag, likeablity, and more all by 200% beyond their already infinite levels.
- Red Moon: Rains down crimson light from a darkened sky above, harvesting the souls of those desired with infinite resistance and immunity-bypassing soul haxorz.
- Thing Not Meant To Be: Lashes at a target with Cthulhuian tentacles or something similar, binding them in place, before rapidly and repeatedly changing their existential status from "normal" to "outer god of Madness" and back again at post-instantaneous speeds. The mental strain from being unable to understand what exactly is occuring to them and their existential state is so great that they basically, for all intents and purposes, are broken mentally. Yeeaahh, nasty stuff.
- Sundered Sky: Rips apart space, causing an enemy's spatial status to become Zacri's whim. Or occasionally "hot dog", Zacri likes it when his abilities are weird like that.
- Omnex: Releases a shapeable, omnielemental blast attack that deals infinity beyond infinity damage.
- Triple Z Shock: Releases shockwaves that destroy everything they touch on a conceptual level.
- Galaxia: Rends numerous universes from their place in the multiverse, hypercondenses their 4-D existence into a 3-D avatar, then directs them at opponents as comets of cosmic "fire."
- Starshatter: A singular blow that rewrites matter and physical embodiments of the plane of being is passes through.
- Nebula Author: Can assign dimensional restrictions to foes, and can reconfigure existing dimension parameters, i.e. changing something from a 616-dimensional to a 2-dimensional entity, removing "endless" from a dimensional state, etc.
- Trout Head: A joke entry. Just makin' sure this gigantic list hasn't put you to sleep fam ;)
- Divine Cosmos Bazooka: A titanic transdimensional laser cannon fired from the outstretched hand. Obliterates things struck on a sub-sub-atomic level.
- Insert "Stop Time" Here In A Random Language That Makes It Sound Cool: ZA WARUDO!!
- Rightful King: Fires forth billions of weapons, without so much as a gesture if he so chooses. All weapons fired are homing and slice/smash/etc. on an astral, mental, spiritual, physical, and ethereal level at once.
- Chaos Blaze: A vibrant, rainbow-colored fire that manifests from nothing, burning away an opponent's "time."
- Mighty Breaker: Breaks all enemy willpower/determination/etc. and deletes it, absorbing it into his own.
- Dragon Revolver: Projects dragon-shaped fields of energy that inflict infinite^infinite^infinite levels of conceptual destruction.
- Gabriel Reversal: Instantly causes an opponent to irrevocably loses everything they own, have ever owned, or ever will own. All things lost in this manner are added to Zacri's own belongings.
- Ragnarok: A nova of combined Deus and Mankind energy that expands outwards throughout infinity, obliterating all of creation except that which is chosen to be excluded.
- Trine Crystal: Freezes an opponent within a three-layered crystal of godcrystal, a material far colder than absolute zero and far stronger than memetic^memetic^infinite times adamantium, where they either remain imprisoned within both unbreakable material and temporal stasis. Imprisoned opponent can either be shattered into nonbeing or imprisoned indefinitely.
- Paradox Sword: A sweeping attack that negates and creates infinite^infinite^infinite^infinite paradoxes simply by being.
- Forsaken By The Eons: The afflicted target ceases to perceive the flow of time and reality.
- Abandoned By Justice: The afflicted target ceases to have access to any and all of its potences.
- Judged For Your Sins: Reduces all of an enemy's stats by a percentage proportional to their affinity for elemental evil. The higher the capacity for evil, the closer to 0% the enemy's stats become.
- That One Attack He Might Use When You Piss Him Off Sufficiently: You cannot grasp the true form of just how hard Zacri dunks you. You lose instantly.
Key: Super Laid-Back | Laid-Back | Mildly Competitive | Competitive | Determination: Irked | Determination: Serious | Infuriated | FUULLLL POOWWAAAHH!!/Legendary Battle
Note: Even this profile is incapable of grasping the whole of Zacri's power: indeed, not even a single microcosm of the whole of this entity's abilities are even capable of existing in a page restricted to a singular wiki. Consider this an abridged version.
Equipment(Note: displays equipment in the order they are listed in above. Also includes Stand and Persona.)
- Twelve googleplexplexplexplexplexplexes of the Suggsverse at once
- A hybrid of Dolores Umbridge and Super McDickenstein, multiplied by (Kim Jong Un to the Donald Trumpth power)
- Infinite copies of everything in fiction and real life
- The (supposedly) unanswerable question
- The Gary Stu Litmus Test
- All piss-poor waifus
- All good waifus too (Note: this was in bed, not a conventional battle ;D )
- Global Warming
- World Hunger
- International Tension
- The Banhammer
- The One Above All and The Presence teamed up
- Shia LaBeouf (It was a legendary fight though)
- Did I mention infinitely self-generating Suggsverses yet?
- Chuck Norris, Bruce Lee, and John Cena simultaneously
- Your potential anger at this list
Notable Losses Do Not Happen On This Character
- Teh Docturr (Doctor Who: Episode "The Rings of Akhaten") Teh Docturr Profile
- Claire Farron (Suggsverse except its actually quality) Claire Farron Profile(A mere random encounter that quickly turned into a legendary battle, Claire and Zacri matched each other blow for blow, neither possessing an advantage over the other in regards to techniques. After half a trillion eternities, the two decided that neither of them would ever win, and simply became friends who like to hang out and play jokes on each other)