|“|| I WILL DUEL AND CRUSH MY SLITHERING SEXUAL SNAKE BOSS, AND FINISH WHAT I STARTED WHEN I STEPPED MY METAL FOOT INTO THIS CHILDREN'S FARCE. I WILL DO THAT BECAUSE I WANT TO, AND WHEN THAT IS SAID AND DONE, AND YOU SEE ME AT THE PEAK OF A MOUNTAIN OF TROPHIES, RESTING ON MY THRONE OF PRIZES, I WANT TO GET TO TELL YOU THAT I DID WHAT I WANTED TO DO. SO IF YOU REMEMBER JUST ONE THING I SAY, OF SO MANY GREAT THINGS SAID BY ME, THEN PLEASE REMEMBER THIS.
I WANTED TO PLAY A GAME.
Lrd English is an indestructible, all-powerful demon summoned at the end of the omniverse, although his time travel abilities allow him to appear prior to his actual summoning. Though the demon's true form is an amalgam of various powerful identities, he was originally the cherub Caliborn, who obtained unlimited power and unconditional immortality by clearing a dead session of the game. As a result, he apparently cannot be destroyed by ordinary means, but only through the exploitation of a number of time-based glitches and loopholes. He is the leader of the Felt on Alternia, and his current appearance resembles that of an adult cherub, sans wings. Vriska Serket describes English as the 8ig 8ad, saying English was the guy who stacked the whole deck against us from the start, rigging shit to go haywire, wiping out our race, 8lowing up omniverses, exterimin8ting ghosts, slaughtering dark gods, and shattering reality itself. English was the "demon" summoned by the unhackable.~ath file.
Powers and Stats
Name: No. There are many things you should not know about him. For your own good. If you knew it. If you even knew his nam- Wait, we already said it at the summary. Nevermind then
Origin: Homestuck, but he was already here before it started
Gender: ~250% Male
Age: As a time lord, he does not need this
Classification: Time Lord
Powers and Abilities: To many to count, here are the main ones: Cherub Physical Characteristics, Flight, Time Manipulation (Duh!),Spatial Manipulation (Because why not?), Fate Manipulation (Personally established the parameters for his future summoning), Plot Manipulation (Took control of MS Paint Adventures, turned Homestuck into his own fanfiction) and Immunity to it (Even as a kid, Andrew could not tell him what to do), Madness Manipulation (Staring into his soul drives people insane), Invulnerability, Reality Warping, Sealing, BFR, Acausality, Immunity to Soul Destruction, Dream Manipulation (Using Makara Gamzee's powers, he inserted himself into Strider Dave's dreams and influenced reality from them. By using these powers, he willed himself into existence within the dreams of people across as many universes as possible, masterminding the surfacing of his true power from these manifestations, despite having his original soul cast into the void), Void Manipulation (Can cause "Double Death", completely erasing a person from existence), Soul Manipulation, Curse and Life Manipulation, Teleportation, exists simultaneously across all timelines even before his emergence, Immortality (Types 1, 4, Joker (In a really literal way) and 8 ; he has assured his existence throughout all of space and time, becoming a temporal inevitability that all successful timelines result in, and can only be killed through the exploitation of various time-based glitches and loopholes), can bypass Regeneration (Mid-Godly) and Immortality (Types 1, 4, and 8), and pretty much everything you can find here
Attack Potency: High Absurly Beyond our Compresion level+ (Killed a lot of omnipotent beings, forcing them to cry for help. Far superior to Bec Noir who destroyed infinite versions of our universe, each one containing it's own Joke Battles Wiki. Far superior to any MSPA related profile, even if they say otherwise. Hell, even VS Battles Wiki says that he should be higher than they rank him)
(This a special speed which only English possess. It is like Omniprecence, but without the handicap of being easier to hit)
Lifting Strength: YOU CAN'T LIFT, BUT I CAN
Striking Strength: I STRIKE FEAR INTO THE HEARTS OF MANY
Durability: Why hit him!? Just run! Oh, wait. (Survived an encounter with Andrew Hussie, who creates unkilleable beings just to kill them afterwards. Even Davepetasprite^2, who claimed to be his weakness, did not even come close to defeat him)
Stamina: It never runs out
Range: Enough to whoop your arse (And do not expect the fourth wall to save you)
Standard Equipment: Cane, leg, size
Intelligence: Beyond Omniscient, in the sense that Omnisciense is pretty much useless for him. He is as smart as he needs to be.
Weaknesses: Plot against his favor, but even that won't work
Ascension: Gains more and more power, glowing a bright light before finally ascending and achieving powers beyond what this profile says.
Destroyed Paradox Space
Ripped of the Head of a Youkai
Crushed the Spectral Destroyers with the Cactus