John Freeman


What began as an innocent fanfiction titled Half-Life: Full Life Consequences (by an allegedly nine-year-old kid with the handle squirrelking) was turned into something great as soon as a YTMND user found it. In mockery, he did a dramatic reading of the story, and a legend was born.

Naturally, seeing that squirrelking had created other fanfics, most notably in the same storyline, other YTMND users had a crack at the dramatic reading thing. Over time, these narrations were turned into animations,but the most impressive series of animations came from machinima artistdjy1991 using Garry's Mod. Thus begins the most famous telling of John Freeman's story.

Powers and Stats

Tier: Bad Grammar

Name: John Freeman

Origin: Half-Life: Full Life Consequences

Gender: Male

Age: Unknown

Classification: Humen, Innocent main character, Gordon Freeman's brother

Powers and Abilities: Superhuman Physical Characteristics, can bend his body on impossible ways, levitation, can make the narrator not take him seriously, can make funny faces and physically impossible poses, can make so bad that's good one-liners, has bear hands, can bark necks

Attack Potency: Building level by making "fist with hands" (tossed a train like it weight nothing), Sides level normally (can't make a correct sentence even if he tried)

Speed: Varies, from slow as a turtle/Subhuman to lightspeed; he never runs, he "walks fast"

Lifting Strength: Class 100 (picked and tossed a train like nothing), otherwise Laugh level

Striking Strength: GJ Class (one hit kills Combines), otherwise Barking necks and bear hands level (can bark necks and kill anything with bear hands)

Durability: Room level (he was shot, got "nifed", took rockets and he kept fighting)

Stamina: Dictionary level (can misspell any word without feeling embarrassed)

Range: Melee

Intelligence: Always knows what has to be done by him

Standard Equipment:

-Bear Hands: Self explanatory

-Walk Fast: Since he never runs

-Frontflip: Sex explanatory

-Wepon: A machinegun he always carries

Notable techniques:

-Make fists with hands: When he makes it, he gets serious

Weaknesses: Mispronounces everything


Notable Victories:

Ebony Darkness [1]

Notable Losses:

The Combine

Inconclusive Fights:


Furries in a Blender - John Freeman03:12

Furries in a Blender - John Freeman

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