Billy Mays Portrait Cropped


Powers and Stats:

Tier: -1

Name: William Darrel, "Billy" Mays Jr.

Origin: Real Life

Gender: Male

Age: 50 at time of death

Classification: TV Pitchman

Powers and Abilities: Super Strength, has the loudest voice in the world, badass beard, can sell anything to anyone, mastery of using many amazing products in combat.

Destructive Capacity: Wallet Level+ (His voice can make you give him all your money)

Speed: Fast enough to make 5 restaurant-size mini burgers at once. Massively FTL with Quick Chop.

Strength: Billy Mays has the muscle to support up to 350,000 lbs. and the strength to pull this fully loaded, 80,000 lb. tractor trailer!

Durability: Peak Human Level, Indestructible with Orange Glo and Impact Gel

Stamina: Billy Mays never quits, when he's up against a wall, that's when he performs best!

Range: Capable of destroying any lamp from anywhere

Standard Equipment:

  • Awesome Auger: The world's most efficient and powerful yard tool. Doubles as the world's most efficient and powerful spear.
  • Big City Slider Station: Create 47 million Big City Sliders to attack your family.
  • The Ding King: Creates dings in his opponent which he then hits with a hammer.
  • Green Away: Capable of destroying 60,000 trees, shrubs and bushes.
  • Impact Gel: Makes Billy Mays invincible to all physical attacks.
  • Orange Glo: Creates an invisible shield which protects him from all non-physical attacks.
  • Oxi-Clean: Capable of cleaning enemies off the face of reality.
  • Two Easy Steps: With just two easy steps, he can climb right over these seats and kick you right in the fucking balls.
  • Zorbeez: Better than ShamWow.
  • Big City Collider Station: Creates a black hole.
  • Quick Chop: Can slice through any material and is vastly superior to the Slap Chop.

​Intelligence: Smarter than Vince since he knows that the Germans don't always make good stuff.

Weaknesses: Cocaine, Vince Offer

Notable Attacks/Techniques: See above


Notable Victories:

Vince Offer (called out Vince on live radio a few months before his death)

Notable Losses:

Inconclusive Matches:

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